I preach a LOT about self-esteem and self-love. I KNOW EXACTLY what it feels like to be a woman who has insecurities about their body/face/life choices/education/social class/what I ate for lunch. It is so easy for us to look at other women and see their perfect figure, gorgeous hair, perky boobs, etc and compliment them (even wish, with every ounce of our souls, that we had that too!). But we have a really difficult time paying ourselves the same compliments. I spend my life making sure that women see all the amazing things about themselves, yet I have the hardest time doing the same for myself. This is especially difficult when, as women, we put down other women FOR their insecurities.
Being a 120 pound, relatively fit woman myself (who hasn't worn a 2 piece swimsuit, like, EVER), I know in advance that I'm really not "allowed" to verbalize my tummy insecurities, because to other women, I'm "crazy" for feeling that way because I'm so "tiny".
Women of all shapes and all sizes have their insecurities. It is so important for us, as women, to be understanding of other women's insecurities and not write them off as crazy just because you don't see it. Instead, let's lift each other up and spend so much time complimenting each other, that we elevate the mentality of ALL women to the point where their insecurities fade away. After all, how many times have you complained about your body only for your friends to tell you that YOU'RE crazy?! Stop competing. Start encouraging.
I got off on a little tangent here, but it's because Miss "T" did an absolutely eloquent job at pointing out that insecurities do not discriminate. Read on.
“Shy. Insecure with my body. Modest. Anxious. Professional. Mother.
My story is not unlike the story I’ve heard repeatedly by my female clients. Women in general have a difficult time with their bodies, no matter what shape it is. It is a struggle that does not discriminate. Women of all ages deal day to day with the feeling of inadequacy.
I have struggled my entire life with body image issues. I am extremely shy about my body. In fact, there have been only a few years of my life where I can remember having the courage to wear a bathing suit in front of other people…and I was still utterly uncomfortable. It is lonely, constant, painful, and internal. When I’ve ever voiced my fears and discomfort I’ve only been met with the response of “you’re crazy”. ”
“Each day of my life I coach and encourage women to believe in themselves, be healthy, and accept and embrace who they are physically. I truly believe and preach that all women’s bodies are beautiful. So why do I not believe this about myself? Why is each day a fight with myself in the mirror…a fight to feel beautiful?
Kara had been encouraging me to do a shoot for years. My anxiety always held me back. I’ve always felt confident in her abilities as a photographer (she has been shooting my family for years). I now know that Kara is much more than that. Kara’s gift is the gift to show a woman her beauty from the eyes of another. Where my eyes see only flaws and imperfection, Kara’s lens reveals reality…a reality I had never seen before.”
“My shoot was incredible! As nervous as I was leading up to the day (including my 15 minutes in the parking lot telling myself I could do it), all anxiety melted away the minute I saw Kara’s smiling face. I’ve never felt more comfortable with my body. I didn’t once worry about how I looked. I trusted her. I left feeling invigorated!
The moment my images were revealed I was awestruck. I couldn’t believe it! The images were stunning…as was the subject…ME?
A feeling of pride has replaced the pain.
Beautiful. Confident. Sexy. Empowered. Proud. Woman.”
THAT is what it is about.
Do I see Miss T's flaws? No. No I don't. I see an absolutely STUNNING, intelligent, talented, hardworking, birth-giving, perfectly curvaceous, KNOCK-OUT. Do I think she's CRAZY for having insecurities?! Absolutely not. I get it.
The number one first comment I get from my clients when they start viewing their images is... "IS THAT REALLY ME!?!". The number two and three comments are always expletives. In a good way.
There's something about seeing yourself in amazing boudoir photos that really puts into perspective what you *ACTUALLY* look like to others. You're seeing yourself in a completely different way, and it's such a breath of fresh air compared to the nit-picking we generally do to ourselves when looking in a mirror. WHICH is why I get my boudoir photos done so frequently. ;)
THANK you, Miss "T" for your utterly inspiring words and for pointing out the obvious that isn't always so obvious to us "crazy" ladies. OH, and whatever your butt workout is....I need that in my life, like yesterday. ;)