A shattered woman on the mend | Austin Boudoir Studio

If you've learned only one thing by following along with my work and reading my blog, I hope it's that my message is about SO MUCH MORE than sexy photos. So. Much. More.  There is a very specific reason that I choose to share words direct from my client's mouths along with their photos. Those words tell the story of each woman, and those stories bring us together.

The images aren't anywhere near as important as what the images represent for the women in them.

The story that I share today is the very REAL and raw testimony of a recent client who has been working on putting her shattered world back together after the stillbirth of her daughter. SO many of you, unfortunately, can relate to such a loss. Things like this often cause us to shut down emotionally, focus on the negative, and lose our relationship with ourselves....lose our sense of womanhood.  

It's up to us to attempt to find ways of healing and reconnecting with ourselves and our bodies after such mental trauma. It was an absolute honor to be a part of helping Miss M get a little bit of herself back. 

She shares:

"After the stillbirth of my daughter I was a woman shattered. With her stillbirth came a complete disconnect from my sense of "womanhood.

I was so angry with my body. I wanted to separate from my physical self, to ignore it. I'd lost my strong, sexy, confident self. I was embarrassed. Others couldn't see why I was 25 pounds overweight. I had no child to hold. And yet, honestly I was holding onto the weight because it reminded me of what was. I wasn't ready to let that go.

"I'm working to rebuild my relationship with my physical self one piece at a time. This photoshoot was a big piece. Kara has beautifully captured me as I am today. She's frozen my body in time.  This body, the one that grew my precious baby girl, will forever stand still in those beautiful images. I can begin to let go of what was and move into what will be."

“I am finding ways to remind myself that I am a woman. Her death does not change that fact. And these photos are helping me rebuild a broken relationship piece-by-piece, image-by-image.”

— Miss M

"For someone who has an innate anxiety around new places and people this could have been bad. Thank you for making me feel comfortable and at ease."

I'm so grateful to Miss M for choosing me to be a part of her journey to reconnect with herself and her womanhood...and infinitely grateful to her for sharing her story with all of us. I know it will be such an inspiration to so many women who have experienced a similar loss. My heart breaks for every single woman who tells me a story similar to this. Yet I am so proud that they are taking this huge step towards loving on themselves with a boudoir experience.  If you think that a boudoir experience may help you cope/recover/mend/breathe/smile again, I encourage you to reach out! 

I'm in a hugging kind of mood, so I'm sending virtual hugs to all of you, and an extra one to you, Miss M! 

The Best Birthday Present for Yourself | Austin Boudoir Studio

Gone are the days that you need an excuse to have a boudoir experience. When I first dipped my toe into the pool that was boudoir photography, nearly every client was doing the shoot as a wedding present to their new spouse. 

Over the last several years, I've loved watching the mindset shift in my clientele who is now doing it for their DAMN selves! Yeah!

Miss Y here is one of them! I met her at an event several months back and I was thrilled when she booked herself a session for her 35th birthday. 

She said: "Every time I've stalked the website or Instagram I was 100% sure you only posted pictures women who looked like models...when I got my pictures back I couldn't believe it!!! I looked like those women...like a model!"

^^^^^ THIS. ^^^^^ So so many of my clients say this to me when they first reach out. They are concerned that they aren't as pretty or as fit or as confident as the women on my website. They are convinced that I could not possibly get as good of an outcome from them. I prove them wrong each and every time, and I kind of gloat a little bit about it, too ;) 

"I had been feeling very self-conscious and simply not good about myself for a while, this experience changed my whole opinion!!! Taking theses pictures for my 35th birthday was the best possible present I could have given myself! "

" My whole outlook had changed! Actually it had changed the moment you started taking my picture! Thank you for making me feel so amazing!!!"

“ I’ve walked with my head higher since I stepped out of the studio after the shoot...I’ve NEVER felt better!!!”

— Miss Y

A VERRRRRRRRYYY Happy Birthday to Miss Y!!! She looks like a model, doesn't she? Yeah, I know. ;) 

Who else would like me to prove them wrong? Let's chat.

When you're confident... | Austin Boudoir Studio

Sometimes, I have a hard time figuring out what to say. 

I know, I know, it's hard to believe. Especially if you've ever been in a room with me. 

But blogging is not always easy. I always have tons of images to share, but often hold onto them until something profound comes to mind to say with them. Sadly, my brain is not often inundated with profoundness ;) 

So I'm going to let someone else say it for me. It's a quote that I wrote down (and cannot for the life of me find a source for, just know it wasn't me who thought up such eloquent words) that resonated with me like crazy. And it also is a fabulous representation of the confident images in this blog post.

YES. This. Insecurity is the death of your true self. Be strong, be real, be honest, be confident. And if you can't do that on your own, I can help you. ;)

Thank you so much to Michelle Chevelle for rocking out this Urban Undercover content shoot-turned-photographer play time. 

Michelle Chevelle for Urban Undercover

Michelle Chevelle for Urban Undercover

Yay for Giveaways and blowing yourself up! | Austin Boudoir Studio

I WANT YOU TO BLOW YOURSELF UP.

When clients are preparing for their boudoir experience with me, they shy away from the idea that they could possibly want a large photo of themselves anywhere on their walls. I speculate that is because they've never seen an image of themselves that makes them feel all sorts of warm and fuzzies, certainly not one that was a piece of art worthy of the wall. 

As they sit in their photo reveal and watch a slideshow containing image after image of stunning beauty....and then realize that woman in the photos is THEM...the idea of putting THAT image up on their wall becomes a right of passage.

There's always that ONE image that makes them feel all the (good) feelings-- beautiful, sexy, strong, powerful, independent, courageous, and BADASS. THAT is the one. That is the image that shouldn't be confined to just an album that you occasionally thumb through. THAT is the image that should be on prominent display in your home so you can see it every single day. 

I'm no stranger to the camera. Between my 5-year-long self-portrait project and my annual birthday boudoir shoot, I've got a sea of images of myself. But then there's that ONE. The one that made ME feel all those feelings.  So I blew it up. I invested in a gorgeous fine art acrylic for my bedroom wall. When I wake up and roll over every morning, there she is. It's me...but it's the best me. It's the me that I aspire to be every day. It's the me that's "in there somewhere" underneath the to-do lists, daily stresses, and tired mom. It's the me that I have to remind myself that I truly am. And I get to see her every day, as if she's giving me a high-five as I walk past her to head into the bathroom and put myself together for the day. 

Me holding "THAT" image of me. A self-portrait that I had blown up to a fine art acrylic piece. 

I can't quite explain how powerful of a feeling that is. But it's a feeling that I want every woman who works with me to experience. Albums are amazing, they really are. It's important to have your boudoir photos in print form to have something to flip through forever. But THAT image. That ONE image, you'll know the one...that is the image that belongs somewhere you will see it ALWAYS. 

A snapshot of my morning view. *self high-five*

ALL of this is to say that I am having an acrylic art giveaway.

I want to gift this daily warm-and-fuzzy feeling to one of my clients. Oh, and it's a $2,000 value. So it's sort of a big deal. 

In my efforts to make boudoir more "mainstream" amongst women wanting to do this for THEMSELVES, it is important for us to share the message with others about how it makes us feel. There's no shame or harm in gifting boudoir images to your partner. But let's face it, your partner is going to be in love with the images because they are in love with the subject. The harder sell is creating images of a woman that SHE LOVES OF HERSELF. And THAT is what I make it my mission to do. 

HOW TO ENTER:

1. Post a photo of yourself holding your Kara Marie Boudoir album on social media. This can be as creative or straight-forward as you fancy. 

2. Tag @Karamarieboudoir (on Instagram) , Kara Marie Boudoir on Facebook, and/or @KaraMarie_T on Twitter. 

3. Caption the photo with your feelings on what the photos inside your album represent to you. This can be a few words, a few sentences, or a few paragraphs.

IF YOU'RE NOT YET A KARA MARIE BOUDOIR CLIENT BUT YOU WANT TO BE....

Post a photo of yourself feeling beautiful and caption it with why you want/need a boudoir experience for yourself.

Please feel free to tag your friends who truly need this experience for themselves, but don't spam ;) 

Winner will be selected and announced on Wednesday, June 15th. 

Skipping Naked | Austin Boudoir Studio

The ultimate compliment from my clients about their experience is that, within a few minutes of shooting with me, they FORGOT they weren't wearing much/anything. FORGOT. Can you imagine?

If you're anything like me, you are VERY aware when you are scantily clad and there are eyeballs on you. 

Being a boudoir photographer involves far more than the technical side of photography. WAY more. In fact, I would say that technical savvy is my least valuable trait. Being able to make a woman feel beautiful and comfortable enough in her own skin that she can not only survive an hour of being photographed in the buff, but ENJOY it ANNNND look amazing doing it!? Yeah. I'd say that's my super power. 

I've had boudoir experiences myself with really brilliant photographic artists. There is no denying their work is absolutely incredible and the finished product is museum-worthy. But I struggled through the entire shoot. Felt like someone else. Felt objectified. Felt dirty. And not the good way. Felt LESS confident in myself walking out than when I went in to the shoot. 

I guess you could say my bad experiences with other photographers really helped fine tune my methods, demonstrating what NOT to do. 

So when clients like Miss S say "I had such a great time, I was skipping naked through the studio at the end!", I know I've done what I've set out to do. 

It is not your job to make yourself feel comfortable for your shoot. It's mine. And I'm good at that. Like...really good at that. 

It's a smattering of psychology courses, some of the best customer service training in the country, and, of course, being a self-conscious woman myself. My photography skills are on the back burner of what makes my clients so happy. But sometimes that's what gets people in the door in the first place ;) 

I've known Miss S for a couple of years now. She's a fiery little ball of energy and sunshine, and I was so excited when she made the decision to get her gorgeous booty into my studio to celebrate herself. 

So take a cue from Miss S, here, and challenge yourself to come in to Kara Marie Boudoir for yourself....so you can find yourself skipping through my studio naked without a care. It's quite liberating. I dare you. ;) 

On feeling SEXY | Austin Boudoir Studio

I say it often:  at Kara Marie Boudoir studio, it's about more than sexy pictures. 

The photos are most definitely a perk. But, you see, it's about how the photos, the whole experience, makes you FEEL.  

When you FEEL sexy...damn. There's just no feeling like the confidence boost you get when you know you look damn good. And for many of us, that feeling doesn't present itself very often. Certainly not as often as it used to. 

There's often confusion about the purpose of boudoir photography. I think that's because there are so many different interpretations of it. Some boudoir photographers present their work to the public as the ultimate gift for your spouse.  Some boudoir photographers present their work to the public as "naughty photos". 

Boudoir photography is something very different for me and for my clients. It's not about doing something "naughty" and it's usually not about doing something for anyone else. It's about getting that feeling back. It's about FEELING SEXY AND STRONG. It's about knowing that she's still "in there somewhere". It's about confidence. And it's about loving yourself...or at least learning to.

Can you do all that with your clothes on? Yes. Obviously you can. So why strip down? 

Let me ask you...isn't that when you feel the most vulnerable? Isn't that when you feel the most uncertain of yourself? For most women, it is. I know that feeling of "OH GOD. OH MY GOD. WHAT is THAT!?" as I spot a new bulge or dimple on my naked body in the mirror.  I know how devastating it is to see that photo that someone tagged you in on Facebook...the one you didn't even realize they were taking and you look like........ ***UN-TAG! UN-TAG!!! RED ALERT!***

It's a lot harder for us to love our stripped-down selves. But I know that if I can show you how incredible you are, how beautiful you are, how SEXY you are, WITHOUT your clothes...that you can rock some new found self-esteem whether you're wearing anything or not. 

SEXY is not something that you should only feel for your partner. SEXY is something you should feel for yourself. It's infinitely powerful. There's no telling what you can do with that kind of confidence on your side.

Please read on for words from Kendall on her third (or fourth?!) boudoir experience with me. 

"I can't even begin to explain how I feel when I leave a shoot with Kara...Every time I see my images, it brings tears to my eyes. I can't believe it's me."

“ I’ve never felt sexier. I never felt more womanly. ”

"I am harder on myself than anyone else. It's hard to see yourself through someone else's eyes. Seeing myself through Kara's lens has helped me to be a little less hard on myself. Allow myself more time to enjoy life...and not obsess about the small things. "

"Kara you are truly so talented and you give a gift to women that truly has no price tag. I can't ever thank you enough for sharing that with me!"

I get the emails every.single.day.  Emails from women who have been following along for years, wishing they could be like the women that I post on my blog/website/social media. The assure me that they are nowhere near as sexy or confident or photogenic as my usual clients. I assure them, without even seeing them, that they are. 

These aren't models. They are women just like you. They've got crazy lives and children and baggage and emotions and insecurities.

They don't come in to me and throw their clothes off and say "OK! I'm ready to be naked! I know I'm hot, so let's DO THIS!!!".  They come in nervous and sweating through their makeup application.  They come in with outfits they "can't believe" they're going to wear in daylight. They come in doubting their beauty. They come in thinking that they are going to be the first woman I'm not able to get a single good photo of. 

I prove them wrong. Every time. 

Let me show you.

EVERYONE is nervous....at first. | Austin Boudoir Studio

This gem....THIS gem of a woman! We had been in "talks" about a boudoir experience for quite some time. Eventually, Miss S finally pulled the trigger before her wedding as a gift to her new husband and herself. She had such a cool demeanor about her. I loved that she wanted to go with a Brigitte Bardot-esque hair and makeup style. It suited her beautifully. 

"Completely, totally, 100% one of the best experiences of my life! I left already thinking about what to wear (OR NOT) for my next shoot. Kara makes you want to take your clothes off...for real!"

This comment made me chuckle big time!!  100% of my clients are nervous about their boudoir experience. At first.  Their nerves are usually settled a bit during the makeup. But then I take over. And I REAAALLLY take over. There isn't much of a chance for you to feel unsure about what you're doing. Because I tell you EXACTLY what I want you to do. And I show you. And all you really have to do is be here with me, and follow along! 

Within the first 10 clicks of my shutter, I witness my clients transition from deer in headlights to a state of relief, and soon after, to a woman who is having SO much fun and is SO at ease that she forgets that she's not wearing much. Truly. Not an exaggeration. 

I know that you probably have a hard time standing in front of the mirror naked and REALLY taking a good look at yourself. I know that you cringe every time you lean forward and see what gravity does to your boobs and belly. I know that, because I experience it myself. And I know that most of my clients do as well. We're women, and unfortunately that's pretty typical for us. 

However, what I want you to know is that I take all of this into consideration. Even if I don't see the flaws on your body that you do, I know that the insecurities exist. I don't write them off as my client just being "blinded by insecurities." 

But guess WHAT?! I am really good at this.  I don't do a lot of tooting of my own horn, but I know that first and foremost I am REALLY good at making people feel comfortable. Really comfortable. Like "Oh? I can't just walk out of the studio in my birthday suit?" comfortable.  Second to that, I understand women's bodies and their insecurities. I know how to pose women of all shapes and sizes. I know how to use light strategically to make you look your absolute best. 

So when Miss "S" says "Kara makes you want to take your clothes off!", I take that as the highest form of flattery...because I know how difficult it can be for a woman to just take her clothes off. Let alone in front of a stranger WITH a camera. 

Just know that I'm not a stranger. From the second you send me the first e-mail that starts with "I can't believe I'm finally emailing you about this....", we are friends.

"I was shocked at how at ease I felt from beginning to end, and how easy she made it to look/feel like a total babe. I honestly didn't believe the woman in the photos was me! Super hot!!"

"I want to show everyone!!! Even though they're a gift for the (future) hubs. I want to print giant photos of myself and hang them all over the house for everyone to see. I'm soooo proud!"

**Note from Kara: A common side effect of a boudoir experience with me = lots and lots of gorgeous wall art!

Thank you to Miss S for being a firecracker during her photo session, and for allowing me to share her photos and her testimony with the world. 

If this blog post speaks to you, and you're ready to start the conversation...let's chat, dahhling!

Better with Age | Austin Boudoir Studio

Almost 5 years ago, Miss "S" and I had a boudoir shoot in a dark hotel room after the sun had set. Therefore I had zero sunlight (and I'm a natural light photographer....so you see the issue...), and I didn't really have a firm grasp on how to make that challenging situation work for me with lighting and/or available artificial light.

I worked through it anyhow. 

We had an AMAZING shoot complete with mega-makeup, elaborate hair, an Etta James playlist, and a fur coat. It was a ton of fun, and the photos looked great. To me. At the time. 

THEN...

From my shoot with Miss S almost 5 years ago. She was obviously a total babe. But the lighting makes me cringe, the post-processing makes me cover my eyes and peek through my fingers like I'm watching a horror movie. The composition is weird, but I remember thinking at the time how cool it was to get the damn lamp reflection in the window. And my posing direction could use some help. Even the watermark and business name screamed "amateur."

Flash forward several years.

When Miss S's husband bought a gift certificate for another boudoir shoot, I was feeling a little nostalgic and I took a peek at our old set. I covered my eyes at my cliche posing and horrendous lighting. Miss S, of course, looked BADASS. And I gave the shoot and the client everything I had. Still, I can't help but be slightly embarrassed by my skill level at the time. 

Yet, 4 years ago I was even MORE embarrassed by my work 4 years prior to THAT. 

But guess what? 

NOW...

Obviously, still a total babe....and I would argue (not that any would fight me) that she's EVEN BETTER WITH AGE, 2 children and almost 5 years later! SIZZLE SIZZLE. Seriously. Such a babe! Photography-wise, I've found my lighting jam. My compositions are still "weird" but in a more intentional and artistic way. My posing is more about the "non-pose pose"...and I don't generally like to toot my own horn, but HELLLL---OOOOO custom black-and-white processing!

If I wasn't a tiny bit ashamed by my lack of skill in the past, that would mean that I wasn't advancing. I wasn't evolving. I wasn't learning. So...as embarrassing as it may be to see some of my stuff from years ago surface, it's also a valley-girl-slap-in-the-face reminder of just how far I've come. 

And if this isn't a concrete enough example of why documenting yourself over the years is so important, then I don't know what is! I'm THRILLED TO BITS that Miss S had a good enough experience the first time around to come back for more! And I know she is too :) 

In the weeks leading up to her shoot, I heard a bit about her "mom bod" and things that she felt just weren't the same. I assured her that we would do juuuuuust fine. And we did. 

“Amazing!! I felt so comfortable and I am in love with the end results!! I’m also feeling pretty happy with this ‘mom bod’!

Love you Kara Marie! What you do for self esteem is amazing!!”

— Miss S

Thank you, Miss S, dahhling, for another incredible shoot! Thank you for trusting me to show you that having a "mom bod" is a good thing....and I certainly hope to see you again in 5 years or less!!! 

The pictures are the sprinkles | Austin Boudoir Studio

After she travelled across the country just to have this photo shoot experience, I listened to her share a bit about her life as she sat in the makeup chair. This woman has had one hell of a series of obstacles thrown her way. She's taken one hit after another after another after another. 

We continued to chat throughout her boudoir shoot, and it reiterated to me, yet again, exactly why it is that being able to do something for yourself and SEE yourself the way others do, is SO damn important. She NEEDED this. 

Because she was in from out of town and she was my last client of the day, we got to spend a little extra time together in Austin. We had some dinner and drinks over conversation that gave me chills.  I am so delighted that I had the opportunity to meet Miss "M", capture her in a way that even she...her harshest critic...could appreciate and admire. 

She left feeling lighter and happier and more confident. And that's the best experience I could ask for!

Read her thoughts:

“ An experience that every woman needs to have at least once in her life time.”

"From hair and makeup to the actual shoot - it was amazing!! Professional yet laid-back. I knew I was in good hands from the big hello and hug when I got there. I felt awkward at first but then was comfortable really fast. Kara showing me how to get in the poses and directing everything I needed to do made it sooooo easy.  It's a good-for the-soul-experience"

"Being pampered with hair and makeup while sipping a glass of champagne and then having a personal photo shoot was the "cake" in my life.…. The whole experience while being there and making me look at myself in a new light and feel like I got 'it' back (whatever the 'it' was I needed) was my icing on the cake. The pictures….. the pictures are the whipped cream infused inside the cake and the sprinkles and stuff on top!! "

"I came into this nervous as all hell, thinking I can't look good being posed like that, I can't look sexy, I don't like this, and that, and this about my body……. I walked out of there that day feeling like a total badass hottie and felt good about MYSELF again. I hear so many positives about myself from my husband and my kids tell me how pretty or beautiful I am VERY often…. but the negative thoughts in my head of an abusive relationship festered none the less. I had been through so much "crap" that I needed something to get my "it" back, to make me feel like I was ME again.

Kara's comments throughout the shoot of "oh wow, your eyes look soooo blue and gorgeous" or "oooo i like your hip bones!" (Who likes HIP bones?! haha but I went with it - hey! it was a compliment i've never heard before) made me feel so beautiful. "

“ I left with a whole new confidence just from the photo shoot! I finally felt good about ME again and all the negative thoughts went out the window! - THAT was worth the money and then some JUST for that!!! ”

"Then the pictures come - and the tears came, and more tears came… tears of utter amazement that I looked that good!!! I was staring at the confident, beautiful, self-loving woman that was buried in negative thoughts for so long. I stared at the pictures over and over, wondering how I ever thought that low of myself. There are things I'd love to change about the way I look (hey, don't we all) but I got to see myself as beautiful for the first time in a LONG time. Beautiful like my family tells me - and those hip bones?! YEP!! They are preeettyy good looking if I don't say so myself! ;)"

Yep, yep. That's it! That's what it's all about. The PICTURES are the sprinkles. The pictures are important...but it's the experience along the way that almost every single woman on this planet needs and deserves for herself. The morale boost is incredible and priceless. Please stop putting it off because you are worried about your "flaws". Let me show you. 

THANK YOU to Miss M for traveling all this way to hang out with me for the day, for sharing your story with me, and for trusting me with this experience!!!!!

BOSSES + BREADWINNERS | Overcoming the double-standards

While I'll admit, the Kara Marie Boudoir blog is a pretty positive place to be. Lots of happy messages here in my peppy "written voice" can be found in juuuussst about every single post. 

And while today's message is still "YOU GO GIRL" (more than most, actually), it's a little less warm and fuzzy. With the thousands of readers following along, why not use this platform to speak up against things that are just...well...fucked up. 

Allow me to preface the message with a very real example:

I live a pretty modest lifestyle. Comfortable, but modest. My husband and I both own our own businesses. We both work crazy hours and have go-get-'em attitudes. We contribute relatively equally to our bank accounts (obviously one is always going to be making more than the other...and that's flip-flopped a lot throughout our relationship). He cooks and does the grocery shopping. I handle school drop-offs and whine about folding the laundry. We are career people AND parents. It's not the right way or the only way, but it's the way that works best for US and keeps our family the happiest.

We are equals.

Sadly, much of society that doesn't know us very well still raises their eyebrow at our lifestyle. They ASSUME that I do all the cooking and cleaning and parenting. They ASSUME that he makes all the money and my business is just a glorified hobby.  I'm reminded of this preconceived notion of what "a woman's place is" quite often, by someone super ignorant. 

One such ignorant person: a first-class-seated business man....sitting in the seat directly BESIDE me. Yeah yeah, he had the window. So I suppose it could be argued that he was sitting in a better seat. When actually I CHOSE the aisle because I get a bit claustrophobic on planes...but I digress.

He was sitting beside me in first class.  I was not wearing a business suit because, well, I'm an artist, damnit. We got settled into our seats and I promptly ordered myself a Woodford Reserve on the rocks (You're assuming it's to ease plane nerves...but I just like bourbon, damnit.) which left him with a surprised expression so big I could see it out of my peripheral vision. 

"Are you traveling alone today?" He asks.    

"On this big ol' plane ALL BY MY LITTLE OL' SELF!?!?!  What I wanted to say, but didn't. 

I just nodded and smiled. 

Next question out of his mouth about 30 minutes later, I swear to God, I must have been FUSHIA (I would say BRIGHT RED, but I'm a girl, so clearly it has to be a shade of pink.): "So, what does your husband do?"

Seriously? My husband must have been such a saint to send his little housewife on a trip, and FIRST CLASS, nonetheless, while he slaved away at work to fund my shopping and vacationing habits, right? Because that's the only possible explanation for a young woman to be flying first class alone? 

"He works." I said, with a smile.

"Do you have kids?" He thinks he's trying to be polite...but his message here is so completely condescending that I was about to go back to coach "where I belonged". 

Me: "Yes. We have 2 boys."

Asshole: "AH! Boys! I bet that's a handful for you."

Me: "Yeah, well, it's a handful for both of us. We keep things pretty equal. And they're great kids."

Asshole: "That's really cool of him to help out with the kids."

Me: "They're his kids too...."

Asshole: "Oh, yeah, but you know what I mean. I always wish I would have helped my wife out around the house and with the kids and stuff more so she could have had some girl time or (as he hand-gestured towards me) took a girl's trip or something."

Me: *slugs some bourbon*

Asshole: "I bet it's nice to get away for a little bit!"

Me: "I'm actually on a business trip...though I love what I do, I'm traveling for work and not 'just for fun'". 

Asshole: "OH. Wow. That's great. So who has the kids?"...

....and this exchange went on for approximately 3 more infuriating minutes before I plugged my Hello Kitty headphones into my bedazzled iPhone and listened to some angry feminist music whilst doodling in my diary.

It's not just old-school men though. It's women too.  It's the media. It's the magazines. It's sometimes even OURSELVES. We've got all these voices telling us that our job is to be pretty, take care of the kids, and slave over the house.  

And I'm calling bullshit. 

We can be artists. We can be truck drivers. We can be moms. We can be childless. We can be married. We can be single. We can love whomever we want. We can be BOSSES and breadwinners. AND WE CAN BE ON TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS, DAMNIT!

It shocks me that this argument even has to be had these days. But alas, here I am, explaining to moms of my son's classmates after getting lots of resistance, that, no, I cannot meet for "mom's day" every Tuesday after school drop off because I'm working....and THAT IS OK.  Just like sipping coffee with other stay-at-home moms is OK...just don't chastise someone for doing it differently...and certainly don't think that YOUR way is the RIGHT way. 

This video came across my Facebook feed today, and, although it's ultimately selling a hair product, it resonated big time with me. And it should with you too. Time to stand up, speak out, and shine (and I don't just mean your hair.)

So go be whatever the hell you want to be. Female or male. Regardless of what the "norm" is.  If you want to be a stay at home mom....better you than me, girl. If you want to be a stay at home dad-- HELL YES. We need more of you. If you want to be a career man or woman, DOOO IT.

And try to be a bigger person than me when you come across those ignorant people. Let's educate them rather than wishing them ill. I'm still working on that.  ;)

And if you're a woman who wants to be more but has a hard time finding her self-worth, let's chat.